This has been doing the rounds recently - somebody tell me if it's already been posted by someone.

"Who would have guessed that when you remove Garfield from the Garfield comic strips, the result is an even better comic about schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and the empty desperation of modern life? Friends, meet Jon Arbuckle. Let’s laugh and learn with him on a journey deep into the tortured mind of an isolated young everyman as he fights a losing battle against loneliness in a quiet American suburb"



Genius.

...for the first time, and (apart from reminding me to buy a Pet Shop Boys album, just for those damn catchy tunes), I couldn't help but be struck by how much Rhydian looks like Arnold Rimmer. Maybe it was just the ridiculous uniform they made the poor boy wear.

With only one slipped digit, I just managed to turn:

Well done!

into:

Elk food!

I think that's pretty impressive. Anyone care to share any other pearls they've (almost) sent?

Okay, so it's childish, and silly, and I should know better, but... I like to play with my food. and to be honest, I'm surprised I can't find any references to this on t'internet - crushed ice is great for making ice/sandcastles in, I'm surprised Starbucks or someone haven't sponsored some massive ice-slush-sculpting competition already

I'm calling this one 'Mocha Ice Goon Attempts Escape'. It errs on the side of simply finding out what's possible, and the answer is, actually, quite a lot. I was particularly surprised at the amount of tonal variation which was possible. I'm sure someone with actual talent must be able to do something attractive.

Anyone fancy having a go?

1 in every 24 people can teleport using the power of their minds.

There's a greater biomass of aunts on the planet than there is of ants.

Two-thirds of Malaysia's cultivated land is dedicated to growing computers.

via my little brother, this little gem of logic.

Recipe for one sort algorithm based on the theory of intelligent design.
Ingredients:
One very large fish.
One very small barrel.
Some sort of area-effect weapon.

As the great Tom Lehrer said, not so much preaching to the converted as titillating the converted. Made me giggle, though.

...and core77's combines the deeply weird and the deeply wonderful in about equal measure. Not sure how many of these I'd really want to own, but there are one or two things I can drool over in that list.

My personal favourite:

Here's one we haven't done (I don't think).

Generate your own, personal seal for use when you get knighted (if you're British - otherwise, just pretend you're about to become a registered charity or something, I don't know).

None of you will understand mine - it's a family in-joke, sorry.

So, what does your personal seal look like?

Silly silly.



Still not as good as these, either:

Arrr. That it be. And I be nearly forgettin'. Avast, ye scurvy dogs!

Are oranges the messiest fruit to eat, or what? I always make a complete mess of peeling them. 

..."Subfo" being a word I just made up, along the lines of 'subvertising' but not as good.

Just plain silly.

Incidentally, why does Multiply's spell checker think I'm Spanish?

This is a conversation I've had with various people, but I can't find where it's been discussed more generally. I did try searching Multiply for "alternative relationships", but realized pretty quickly the potential for misunderstanding there...

Anyway.

Instead of being an 'internet buddy', a 'colleague', or a 'father' (just one of many), what would you like to see where it says:

"Elephant_in_the_room205 is..."

...your pet's nemesis.
...your friendly sceptic.
...your secret shame.
...your idiot halfbrother who you keep in the attic.
...Mrs Norris.
...your own secret identity which you forgot about.
...your favourite meal reinterpreted as modern dance.
...your hero.
...a random hanger-on.

Any more suggestions? I'm sure we've done this, but I can't find it anywhere. I'm also sure I came up with some really good ones which are now tragically lost.

P.S. if there really is a user 'Elephant_in_the_room205', then I can only say, 'oops'....

Being an eco-aware gadget freak is a bit of a trial at times. When it comes to electricity and power consumption, I have an eco-angel on one shoulder telling me to cut down, and a gadget devil on the other which just wants more more more! My bete noire at the moment is my wireless network. This sits happily under the sofa in an always-on arrangement, which is wonderfully handy for two reasons: first, it's always on, and second, it uses up a couple of inaccessible power points (and the position of the cable modem limits it a bit anyway). Unfortunately, such profligacy gets my eco-angel wagging reproachful fingers.

The obvious answer (to a gadget freak) is a remote control power point. These are relatively cheap and come with a remote, so I could turn the whole caboodle off at the mains without having to crawl around under the sofa. But it's another remote, which is, well, just dull.

The thing is, if it were just the network then I could probably live with it. But I have another little domestic bete noire which I'd like to be able to fix. The stairwell outside my door is very dark, and although I have an external light, the switch for it is inside the flat, which isn't very handy when you're fumbling with your keys in the pitch black corridor. So, I'd like to be able to turn this light on from outside. Again, a remote would be handy, but I'm not about to take a remote with me when I have a bluetooth enabled mobile phone and a PDA which does bluetooth and wifi!

So. First off, the whole point is to save electricity, so an always-on PC home automation system is ludicrous. What I want is this:

1. Turn on my outside light at a command from my phone (or PDA);
2. Turn on my wireless network (which can be done just by turning it on at the mains) via a similar signal.
3. To have the ability to turn off mains AC sockets. My life seems to run on batteries, which is great except for the chargers that I absentmindedly leave plugged in when they're not charging anything! Turning these off without bending down would be a boon.

That's it. Doesn't seem like an outrageous list to me. But can I find anything which will do it? No. Home automation systems seem to assume that it's okay to lug another remote around with you, which just irritates me when I have two devices perfectly capable of performing this function.

Where am I going to get a wav file of Papa Lazarou saying "I can't let you do that Dave" ...

(I fear X have dunked the audio on this in their conversion process. Note to self: must learn how to create Flash videos to avoid nasty automated conversion).

There's something not quite right about this. I can seewhat they were trying to do, but to me, it just says "Happy Cows during a Bank Raid"

Minni Minnawi

(doo doooo doo doo doo)

Minni Minnawi

(doo doo doo doo)

Minni Minnawi

(doo doooo doo doo doo, doo doo doo, doo doo doo, doo doo doo dooo dooo doo doo dodo doo.)

...I know I shouldn't make fun of such a tragic situation, but I heard his name on the radio this morning and I just couldn't help myself.